When you ask for someone’s opinion, you make them feel respected. It’s a simple but profound truth about human connection. This one action validates their intelligence and worth. And it instantly shifts the dynamic of any conversation.
Share Image Quote:At its core, this quote is about the psychology of validation. It’s not just about gathering information; it’s a powerful tool for building rapport and making the other person feel seen and valued.
Let me break this down from my own experience. When you genuinely ask, “What do you think?”, you’re doing so much more than just posing a question. You’re implicitly saying, “I value your perspective. Your brain works in a way that I find interesting.” It’s a form of social recognition. Think about it—people’s opinions are deeply tied to their identity and ego. By inviting that out, you’re honoring their entire being. It’s a conversational judo move that instantly lowers defenses and builds a bridge of goodwill. It makes the interaction about them, not just you.
| Context | Attributes |
|---|---|
| Original Language | English (3668) |
| Category | Relationship (329) |
| Topics | respect (76), validation (14) |
| Literary Style | affirmative (75), direct (414), simple (291) |
| Emotion / Mood | positive (57) |
| Overall Quote Score | 82 (297) |
This insight comes straight from Leil Lowndes’s classic 1999 book, How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships. It was published in the United States and has become a staple in communication and self-help circles. You won’t find it misattributed to someone like Dale Carnegie—this is pure Lowndes.
| Context | Attributes |
|---|---|
| Author | Leil Lowndes (235) |
| Source Type | Book (4032) |
| Source/Book Name | How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships (185) |
| Origin Timeperiod | Contemporary (1615) |
| Original Language | English (3668) |
| Authenticity | Verified (4032) |
Leil Lowndes writes about striking conversations with unknown people and how to put others at ease and maintain relationships. Her techniques are straightforward and practically usable that readers can apply immediately in their workplace, and everyday life. Her book list includes How to Talk to Anyone and Goodbye to Shy which have reached international audiences.
Official Website |Facebook | X | YouTube |
| Quotation | When you ask for someone’s opinion, you make them feel respected |
| Book Details | Publication Year: 1999; ISBN: 978-0-07-141858-4; Last edition: 2018; Number of pages: 368. |
| Where is it? | Chapter 27: Ask Opinions, Approximate page 118 from 2018 edition |
In the book, this isn’t just a passing thought. It’s positioned as a foundational tactic for creating instant connections. Lowndes frames it as a way to win friends and influence people by shifting the focus from yourself to the other person, making them the star of the conversation, even if just for a moment.
So, how do you actually use this? It’s not complicated, but the intention is everything.
This is gold for managers, salespeople, entrepreneurs, and honestly, anyone who wants to have better, more meaningful conversations.
| Context | Attributes |
|---|---|
| Theme | Advice (652) |
| Audiences | leaders (2619), managers (441), students (3111), teachers (1125) |
| Usage Context/Scenario | leadership training (259), meetings (2), relationship development (24), team discussions (10) |
Question: What if the person gives an opinion I disagree with?
Answer: That’s the real test. The goal isn’t agreement, it’s respect. You can acknowledge their view without adopting it. “That’s a really interesting angle, I hadn’t considered that. Thanks for sharing it.” The respect comes from the listening, not the aligning.
Question: How can I ask without sounding like I’m just being polite?
Answer: Authenticity is key. Ask a specific, not a generic, question. Instead of “What do you think?”, try “How would you handle the timeline on this project?” or “You’re good with design—what’s your gut reaction to this layout?” Specificity shows genuine interest.
Question: Is this manipulative?
Answer: Only if your intent is manipulative. If you’re genuinely using it as a shortcut to understand and value someone else, it’s the opposite. It’s a tool for building authentic connection. The other person almost always senses the difference.
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