Your body speaks before your mouth does—it’s a truth I’ve seen play out in countless meetings and negotiations. The real trick is aligning that silent, powerful language with your spoken words to build genuine trust and connection.
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Meaning
Your nonverbal communication—your posture, your eyes, your micro-expressions—transmits a message long before you utter a single word. The core idea is to create congruence, to make sure that unspoken message and your verbal one are in total, undeniable alignment.
Explanation
Let me break this down from my own experience. You know that feeling when you’re in a conversation and something just feels… off? The person is saying all the right things, but your gut is screaming “I don’t buy it!”? That’s your brain detecting the incongruence. It’s picking up on the crossed arms when they say “I’m open to this,” or the fleeting look away when they say “I’m confident.” Our brains are hardwired to trust the body language first—it’s a more primal, honest signal. So when there’s a mismatch, the body wins every single time. The goal, then, isn’t to become a perfect actor, but to do the inner work so that your external presence genuinely reflects your internal state. It’s about authentic alignment, not manipulation.
Quote Summary
| Context | Attributes |
|---|---|
| Original Language | English (3668) |
| Category | Skill (416) |
| Topics | body language (10), communication (196), consistency (66) |
| Literary Style | direct (414), practical (126) |
| Emotion / Mood | alert (8), realistic (354) |
| Overall Quote Score | 83 (302) |
Origin & Factcheck
This specific phrasing comes straight from communication expert Leil Lowndes in her 1999 book, How to Talk to Anyone, published in the United States. While the concept is ancient—think Aristotle on delivery—this crisp, memorable formulation is all Lowndes. You sometimes see it misattributed to general “body language experts,” but the credit belongs to her.
Attribution Summary
| Context | Attributes |
|---|---|
| Author | Leil Lowndes (235) |
| Source Type | Book (4032) |
| Source/Book Name | How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships (185) |
| Origin Timeperiod | Contemporary (1615) |
| Original Language | English (3668) |
| Authenticity | Verified (4032) |
Author Bio
Leil Lowndes writes about striking conversations with unknown people and how to put others at ease and maintain relationships. Her techniques are straightforward and practically usable that readers can apply immediately in their workplace, and everyday life. Her book list includes How to Talk to Anyone and Goodbye to Shy which have reached international audiences.
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Where is this quotation located?
| Quotation | Your body speaks before your mouth does—make sure both say the same thing |
| Book Details | Publication Year: 1999; ISBN: 978-0-07-141858-4; Last edition: 2018; Number of pages: 368. |
| Where is it? | Chapter 50: The Body Talks First, Approximate page 205 from 2018 edition |
