Your words start the conversation, but your energy keeps it alive. It’s a game-changing insight I’ve seen proven true time and again. The initial words are just the key in the ignition, but your authentic energy is the fuel that drives the entire interaction forward.
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Meaning
It means that while your opening line gets you in the door, it’s your genuine presence, your vibe, your non-verbal communication that truly builds a connection and makes people want to stay and talk.
Explanation
Let me break this down for you. We all get so hung up on finding the perfect thing to say, right? We script our introductions, rehearse our pitches. But here’s the thing I’ve learned: people are listening to your *energy* more than your dictionary. They’re subconsciously picking up on your tone, your eye contact, the slight lean-in that shows you’re engaged, the warmth in your voice. That’s the stuff that builds trust. Your words are the “what.” Your energy is the “why should I care?” It’s the difference between a dry, factual statement and a story that captivates a room. It’s what makes a conversation feel like a genuine connection instead of just an exchange of data.
Quote Summary
Reading Level65
Aesthetic Score88
Origin & Factcheck
This gem comes straight from communication expert Leil Lowndes in her 2003 book, How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships. You might sometimes see similar sentiments floating around, but this is the original source. It’s not some ancient proverb; it’s a modern, practical observation from a pro.
Attribution Summary
Author Bio
Leil Lowndes writes about striking conversations with unknown people and how to put others at ease and maintain relationships. Her techniques are straightforward and practically usable that readers can apply immediately in their workplace, and everyday life. Her book list includes How to Talk to Anyone and Goodbye to Shy which have reached international audiences.
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Where is this quotation located?
| Quotation | Your words start the conversation, but your energy keeps it alive |
| Book Details | Publication Year: 1999; ISBN: 978-0-07-141858-4; Last edition: 2018; Number of pages: 368. |
| Where is it? | Chapter 19: The Power of Enthusiasm, Approximate page 86 from 2018 edition |
Context
In the book, this isn’t just a standalone quote. It’s woven into a whole system of techniques—like using a “sticky eyes” or a “big-baby pivot”—designed to make people feel instantly comfortable and valued. The quote is the underlying philosophy for all those little tricks. The tricks are the “words,” but applying them with positive, focused energy is what makes them work.
Usage Examples
So how do you actually use this? It’s a mindset shift, really.
- For a Salesperson: You can have the most feature-packed pitch in the world. But if you deliver it with low energy and no passion, it falls flat. Instead, focus on connecting with the person. Let your genuine belief in the product’s value shine through in your tone and enthusiasm. That’s what gets the client excited.
- For a Manager Giving Feedback: You can read a script about “areas for improvement.” Or, you can deliver the same message with a supportive energy—leaning in, using a calm and constructive tone. The words might be tough, but the energy says “I’m on your side,” which makes all the difference.
- For Anyone at a Networking Event: Instead of worrying about your opening line, just focus on being fully present with the person you’re talking to. Listen actively. Nod. Smile with your eyes. Your energy of genuine interest will make you far more memorable than any business card.
To whom it appeals?
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Motivation Score88
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FAQ
Question: What if I’m an introvert or just having a low-energy day?
Answer: Great question. It’s not about being a hyper-extrovert. “Energy” here doesn’t mean loud or bubbly. For an introvert, high-value energy can be calm, focused, and deeply attentive. It’s about the quality of your presence, not the volume. On a low day, it’s about being authentic—a simple, “It’s been a long day, but I’m really glad to be here talking with you” can be powerful.
Question: Can you really fake this “energy” if you’re not feeling it?
Answer: In the short term, you can “act as if,” and it can work. But long-term? People have a sixth sense for inauthenticity. The real goal is to genuinely cultivate a more positive, curious, and present mindset. The external energy follows the internal state.
Question: How is this different from just “body language”?
Answer: Body language is a huge part of it, for sure. But energy is the *umbrella*. It’s the combination of your body language, your tone, your pace of speech, your eye contact, and that intangible “vibe” you give off. It’s the whole package.
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